Another year

Tender. Fragile. Sorrowful.

Long glances filled with longing and thoughts and things you want to say but can't, because you're scared or whoever you're looking at won't understand or care or respond.

~

I tried to fall in it again
my friends took bets and disappeared
they mime their sighing violins
I think I'll wait another year

I want my chest pressed to your chest
my nervous systems interfere
ten or eleven months have passed
I think I'll wait another year

this weather turns my tricks to rust
I am a lousy engineer
the winter makes things hard enough
I think I'll wait another year

plus, I'm only twenty-six years old
my grandma died at eighty-three
that's lots of time if I don't smoke
I think I'll wait another year

I'm not as callous as you think
I barely breathe when you are near
it's not as bad when I don't drink
I think I'll wait another year

I have my new Bill Hicks cd
I have my friends and my career
I'm getting smaller by degrees
you said you'd help me disappear

but that could take forever
I think I'll wait another year
it'll be the best year ever
I think I'll wait another year
can't we just wait together?
you bring the smokes, I'll bring the beer
I think I'll wait another year