Silent all these years

I haven't listened to this song in over a year. I haven't listened to Tori's album, "Little Earthquakes", at all either. I always get so close to the songs and the lyrics and the music that I fall for and I tie it together with whatever I'm feeling at the time. And then I take it all in, I breathe it in and I draw it in and I taste it and feel it and... Well, it gets too much, sometimes. Sometimes, the song begins to hurt. And it takes a long, long while before I get the "mood" for that song again, no matter how beautiful it is. I'm always in a different "mood" when it comes to music, I have to listen to those exact songs or that exact album or that exact artist or a combination or just one song or whatever. Sometimes I want to listen to music desperately, but there's no music I want to listen to, so I can't.

Anyway. I revisited this song today, in lyrics only. I know it by heart and I still feel that it describes a part of me just perfectly - isn't that what good lyrics are about? Or poetry, for that matter. A composition of words. There are billions of ways to describe even the smallest of variations in human emotion and thought. I love that fact. I love it. The rythm of how words are sung, and the melody that goes with it, they're both intensly important. That's why I always pay special attention to placing each word and each sentence and phrase in a way to make it flow better along with the melody. I think that's really important. I despise most of the lyrics I find online because they've just written it all out in an almost random way and every line begins with a capital letter or there are random capital letters everywhere and nothing has a rythm to it at all. You can't really take in a piece of songlyric without having the rythm of the melody to accompany it. And you can't appreciate poetry by, say, André Bjerke, if you don't appreciate the wonderful way he makes Rhyme and Rythm dance with each other.

Melody and music is also, of course, of intense importance when it comes to the feeling of a songlyric. Take Regina Spektor's "Us", for example. In the refrain, she starts with just singing "and we're..." (followed, after a very long "we're", with "living in a den of thieves"). Read those two words alone and, well, what do you feel? Well, most likely nothing special, they're just two words and they don't really mean anything on their own, not when they're separated from the rest of the refrain and there's no melody. So it's just half a sentence, isn't it? However, when listening to the song... The entirety of the refrain is a very good composition of words, but, you see, the part where she sings "and we're..." is the most beautiful part of the song. It almost aches. It's amazing. It would be a beautiful, beautiful melody just by itself, but by adding those words... The way she sings them, it's a sort of hesitation to me, she's making them last, emphasizing them. Ah, it's so beautiful. And I write really messy, I know. But it makes sense to me, and I just need to write it down.

I love it when melody and rythm and words make love.

~

excuse me, but can I be you for a while?
my dog won't bite if you sit real still
I've got the antichrist in the kitchen
yelling at me again
yeah, I can hear that

been saved again by the garbage truck
I've got something to say, you know, but nothing comes
yes, I know what you think of me
you never shut up
yeah, I can hear that

but what if I'm a mermaid
in these jeans of his with her name still on them?
hey, but I don't care, 'cause sometimes
I said, sometimes I hear my voice
and it's been here
silent all these years

so you've found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts
what's so amazing about really deep thoughts?
boy, you best pray that I bleed real soon
how's that thought for you?

my scream got lost in a paper cut
I think there's a heaven where some screams have gone
I've got twenty five bucks and a cracker,
do you think it's enough
to get us there?

'cause what if I'm a mermaid
in these jeans of his with her name still on them?
hey, but I don't care, 'cause sometimes
I said, sometimes I hear my voice
and it's been here
silent all these

years go by, will I still be waiting
for somebody else to understand?
years go by if I'm stripped of my beauty
and the orange clouds raining in my head
years go by, will I choke on my tears
'til finally, there is nothing left?
one more casuality, you know,
we're too easy, easy, easy

well, I love the way we communicate
your eyes focus on my funny lip shape
let's hear what you think of me now
but baby, don't look up
the sky is falling

your mother shows up in a nasty dress
and it's your turn, now, to stand where I stand
everybody looking at you
here, take hold of my hand
yeah, I can hear them

but what if I'm a mermaid
in these jeans of his with her name still on them?
hey, but I don't care, 'cause sometimes
I said, sometimes I hear my voice
and it's been here
silent all these years

I've been here
silent all these years

- Tori Amos