Hope there's someone

Anxiety, fear, loneliness and insomnia cling to my evenings and nights. I try to fill them with other things as well, to balance it out a bit. I read. I write. I watch. I listen. I touch. I talk. Or I simply sit very still, trapped within my own strange habit of staying up until I can't keep my eyes open any longer. If I'm completely exhausted when my head hits the pillow, I don't have to be awake in the dark without anyone beside me for long. I don't have time to get really scared of forgetting myself while entering a dream, or being hurt while in a different world - or worse, a similar one. I don't have to be alone with my head for more than a couple of minutes. But no matter how tired I am, I always long for someone. A prescence. A warm hand. Security. Relief from solitude and hurt.

Antony's voice haunts and frightens me. It's... Not sane, somehow. But it's so lovely, too, fragile and a little out of control. Perfect.

~

hope there's someone who'll take care of me
when I die, will I go?
hope there's someone who'll set my heart free
nice to hold when I'm tired

there's a ghost on the horizon
when I go to bed
how can I fall asleep at night?
how will I rest my head?

oh, I'm scared of the middle place
between light and nowhere
I don't want to be the one
left in there, left in there

there's a man on the horizon
wish that I'd go to bed
if I fall to his feet tonight
will allow rest my head

so here's hoping I will not drown
or paralyze in light
and godsend, I don't want to go
to the seal's watershed

hope there's someone who'll take care of me
when I die, will I go?
hope there's someone who'll set my heart free
nice to hold when I'm tired