Aquarius

Loving you while cooking dinner in your kitchen, cold air on my hands, cold air from outside the window, cold autumn-air, darkness. The energy between us. Your smile. My voice, singing this song, you sitting by the computer in your bedroom while litening to me, enetering the kitchen from time to time just to kiss me or to tell me that I'm beautiful. Us. Who I used to be. Who I used to be with. Who I long to be. And the one I long to be with. Gone.

I used to think of this as a letter from me to god, whenever I was exhausted with my own hopelessness and my fear of everything in genereal. I really miss believing in god. And I am exhausted, with myself and with the world. So please. Dear someone.

~

dear someone listening in the shadows
I only talk to you sometimes
and though I ask for help in riddles
it is clearer in my mind, clearer in my mind

born of a sign that carries vessels
but in a month as cold as ice
I know I question things too quickly
but I've never questioned if I've loved, loved

dear someone watching from the shadows
I'm clenching water in my fists
the drops, they slip right through my fingers
but there's water on my lips, water on my lips

born of a sign that carries vessels
but in a month that brings just ice
I know I question things too quickly
but I've never wondered if I've loved, loved

dear someone watching from the shadows
you've seen me lose all the water from my hands
I'm not a skillful water carrier
but the raindrops keep falling on my head, falling on my head

born of a sign that carries water
but in a month that brings just ice
I'm not a skillful water carrier
but I've learned to carry love, learned to carry love