Come on up to the house

I feel so shitty right now I just want to crush something huge into little pieces ,or curl up into a little ball and crush myself into little pieces. Well... When you're feeling small and scared and worthless and useless, and everything hurts, and you can't think of what to do with any of it - come on up to the house.

PS: amazing video.

~

well, the moon is broken and the sky is cracked
come on up to the house
the only things that you can see is all that you're lacking
come on up to the house

all your crying don't do no good
come on up to the house
come down off the cross, we can use the wood
you've got to come on up to the house

come on up to the house
come on up to the house
the world is not my home, I'm just a'passing through
you've got to come on up to the house

there's no light in the tunnel, no irons in the fire
come on up to the house
and your singing leads a panel in a junkman's choir
you've got to come on up to the house

doesn't life seem nasty, brutish and short?
come on up to the house
the seas are stormy, and you can't find no port
you've got to come on up to the house

you've got to come on up to the house
come on up to the house
the world is not my home, I'm just a'passing through
you've got to come on up to the house

there's nothing in the world that you can do
you've got to come on up to the house
and you've been whipped by the forces that are inside you
you've got to come on up to the house

well, you're high on top of your mountain of woe
you've got to come on up to the house
well, you know you should surrender, but you can't let it go
you've got to come on up to the house

you've got to come on up to the house
you've got to come on up to the house
the world is not my home, I'm just a'passing through
you've got to come on up to the house

Can't have it all

Hey, I'm just doing what he said.

Jay Brannan is magical. And this song is magical. It's so me it's scary. I only heard this song here about three minutes ago, and BAM! Into my blog it goes. And in my blog it'll stay.

~

applying moisturizer in the microwave window
for the tenth time, he should've called me an hour ago
would he be here with flowers if I lived in Arizona?

they say there's no love left in the big cities, it's kinda true
I guess you'll find me coming soon to a small town near you
I'll sell my guitar so I can by myself a tractor

fuck this, this can't be my life
I moisturized ten times tonight
why can't I sit down and write,
bring this question to light?

do you want a lover, or do you want a life?
one hand or the other, the butter or the bread knife?
do you choose winter, spring, summer, or fall?
it's driving me crazy that I can't have it all

if these walls could talk, they'd probably cry out for mercy
'til I'm outlined in chalk, I'll be romantically thirsty
so I drink and drink from the proverbial time sink

fuck this, this can't be my life
tears flowing in full force tonight
why can't I sit down and write
bring this question to light?

do you want a lover, or do you want a life?
one hand or the other, the butter or the bread knife?
do you choose winter, spring, summer, or fall?
it's driving me crazy that I can't have it all

do we hold the future, or does it come in peace?
and if it's in my hands, are you sure it should be in brittle hands like these?
life, love, and the pursuit of all the things they promised me
can I have all of the above? are the best things in life truly free?

do you want a lover, or do you want a life?
one hand or the other, the butter or the bread knife?
do you choose winter, spring, summer, or fall?
it's driving me crazy that I can't have it all

At first sight

Just a great song, and absolutely amazing lyrics.

~

you said you wanted me to be your girlfriend
that took about one week to come to an abrupt end
I know you hate me, I'm a perceptive guy
I'm also aware enough not to wonder why

you like the guy on your ipod, not the guy in your bed
after the fanmail came anthrax, now you wish I were dead

if I could force you to love me, I would
you'd teach me not to be psycho, I know you could
give me one final chance, I'll be good
never believed in love at first sight
but now I think I might

you said physical chemistry between us was bad
then, why are you still responding to my craigslist ad?
I know every step I took along the way was wrong
now I’m spreading it all out and fingering this song

your text messages were like no-calorie food for my soul
beating off to forever with you is a fantasy that blows

if I could force you to love me, I would
you'd teach me not to be psycho, I know you could
give me one final chance, I'll be good
never believed in love at first sight
but now I think I might

Mario Kart Love Song

This song is so awesome and silly! I've been singing along to it for about an hour, and I just can't get enough of it. It's actually really pretty too, and I can't help thinking that the lyrics are sweet as sugar. I guess I'm just a hopeless romantic, even if the romance in question is completely ridiculous.

~

you be my princess and I'll be your toad
I'll follow behind you on rainbow road
protect you from red shells wherever we go
I promise

no one will touch us if we pick up a star
and if you spin out, you can ride in my car
when we slide together, we generate sparks
in our wheels and our hearts

and the finish line
is just around the bend
I'll pause this game
so our love will never end
let's go again

the blue shell is coming, so I'll go ahead
if you hang behind, it will hit me instead
but never look back, 'cause I'm down, but not dead
I'll catch up to you

don't worry about Bowser or DK
just eat this glowing mushroom
and they'll all fade away

and the finish line
is just around the bend
I'll pause this game
so our love will never end
let's go again

to the mushroom cup
and the flower cup
and the star cup
and the reverse cup

walalalalalalalala
walalalalalalaluigi

Den andre er meg

Alt for mange ganger har jeg følt meg slik. I dag er en av de gangene.

~

det finns to typer folk, den eine er alle de andre
og den andre er meg
jorda spinner rundt seg og tar alle med seg
men eg spinner bare rundt meg

om eg går med håve høgt, går med håve lågt
går ingen med meg
alle ser på kvarandre og elsker kvarandre, men
ingen ser på meg

og eg fant ingen svar i bånn av et rødvinsglass
det er ingen som har verken tid eller plass
med meg går det ner
ner te fanden med sjumilsteg

det var to som ville ha meg, den eine, han fekk meg
og den andre er deg
men om det var én eg sko ha gitt meg hen te
då vett eg kem; ingen andre enn deg

eg har hørt Herren gir, hørt Herren tar
men det angår ikkje meg
all den tid eg har levd
all den tid eg har bedt
har Han aldri latt høre fra seg

og eg fant ingen svar
sjølv om eg leste det svart på kvitt
ingen kommentar
på det einaste spørsmålet mitt
med meg går det ner
ner te fanden med sjumilsteg

det finns to typer folk, den eine er alle de andre
og den andre er meg
jorda spinner rundt seg og tar alle med seg
men eg spinner bare rundt meg
den andre er meg

2nd law

Ah, I couldn't help myself, I had to put another Tom McRae piece in here. I so love this song. I feel like this every once in a while. My heart fills up with a longing to escape from it all, hide myself away, and watch my life and everything in it from a distance. Safety in solitude. Peace of mind.

~

tell all my friends I have gone to the moon
tell all my friends I will write them soon
and tell them, if you see them
that I am better left alone

'cause I'm living up here, where the air is thin
where gravity don't bring you down
I'm living up here and I'm watching your
universe cooling down

I spend my days beneath a perspex dome
I think that I have finally come home
so tell them, if you see them
that I am better left alone

'cause I'm living up here, where the air is thin
where gravity don't bring you down
I'm living up here and I'm watching your
universe cooling down

Walking 2 Hawaii

It's been a while since I let Tom McRae rock my world. Years, actually. And I'm not quite ready to go back there yet. He's too gloomy for me these days; a special, dark, dirty, hurtful kind of gloomy that isn't really a part of me anymore. But his music is absoltely beautiful and I love his voice, and I couldn't stop thinking about his lyrics today. I chose to include this lovely piece of work in today's entry. The guitar gives me these wonderful chills and his voice sends me through the roof - but gently, gently... It feels like falling asleep and waking up at the same time.

~

falling feels like flying
until you hit the ground
and everything is beautiful
'til you take a look around
so let it go

turn the bow into the wave, boys
I feel a storm coming in
but every bridge we build, we burn
and never learn to swim
no, we never learn to swim
so let it go

lead me to the edge and watch
see how far we both can drop
let it all just slip away
let it fade

we walk to Hawaii
a final sunset on the waves
the perfect girl, the perfect place
to watch the world go down in flames
wouldn't that be a shame?

lead me to the edge, don't stop
beauty always had a cost
and as the air slips through our lungs
we'll sing songs of love

The Hardest Part

~

and the hardest part
was letting go, not taking part
that was the hardest part
and the strangest thing
was waiting for that bell to ring
it was the strangest start

I could feel it go down
bittersweet, I could taste in my mouth
silverlining the cloud
oh, and I, I wish that I could work it out

and the hardest part
was letting go, not taking part
you really broke my heart
and I tried to sing
but I couldn't think of anything
and that was the hardest part

I could feel it go down
you left the sweetest taste in my mouth
silverlining the clouds
oh, and I, I wonder what it's all about

everything I know is wrong
everything I do, it just comes undone
everything is torn apart
oh, and that's the hardest part

Sleeps with butterflies

This is getting ridiculous, I suppose. How many songs have I written about just today? But they just keep welling up inside of me. There'll be more to come, I think. And again, I don't need to explain to myself what this song means. I can still feel it.

~

airplanes take you away again
are you flying above where we live?
then I look up, a glare in my eyes
are you having regrets about last night?
I'm not, but I like rivers that
rush in, so then I dove in
is there trouble ahead
for you, the acrobat?
I won't push you
unless you have a net

you say the word, you know I will find you
or if you need some time, I don't mind
I don't hold on to the tail of your kite
I'm not like the girls that you've known
but I believe I'm worth coming home to
kiss away night
this girl only sleeps with butterflies

balloons look good from the ground
I fear, with pins and needles around
we might fall, then stumble
upon a carousel
it could take us anywhere

you say the word, you know I will find you
or if you need some time, I don't mind
I don't hold on to the tail of your kite
I'm not like the girls that you've known
but I believe I'm worth coming home to
kiss away night
this girl only sleeps with butterflies

I think it's going to rain today

I'll find you.

~

broken windows and empty hallways
a pale, dead moon in a sky streaked with gray
human kindness is overflowing
and I think it's going to rain today

scarecrows dressed in the latest styles
with frozen smiles to chase love away
human kindness is overflowing
and I think it's going to rain today

lonely
lonely
tin can at my feet
think I'll kick it down the street
that's the way to treet a friend

bright before me, the signs implore me
help the needy and show them the way
human kindness is overflowing
and I think it's going to rain today

Release me

From me to me.
When I can't bear myself any longer.
When I want to tear myself apart.
When I want out.

~

I am the wilderness locked in a cage
I am a growing force you kept in place
I am a tree reaching for the sun
please don't hold me down

I am a rolling wave without the motion
a glass of water longing for the ocean
I am an asphalt flower breaking free
but you keep stopping me
release me

I am the rain that's coming down on you
that you've shielded yourself from with a roof
I am the fire burning desperately
but you're controlling me
release me

Silent all these years

I'm not OK.

~

excuse me, but can I be you for a while?
my dog won't bite if you sit real still
I've got the antichrist in the kitchen, yelling at me again
yeah, I can feel it

been saved again by the garbage truck
I've got something to say, you know, but nothing comes
yes, I know what you think of me, you never shut up
yeah, I can feel it

but what if I'm a mermaid
in these jeans of his with her name still on them?
hey, but I don't care, 'cause sometimes
I said sometimes I hear my voice
and it's been here
silent all these years

so you've found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts
what's so amazing about really deep thoughts?
boy, you best pray that I bleed real soon
how's that thought for you?

my scream got lost in a paper cut
I think there's a heaven where some screams have gone
I've got twentyfive bucks and a cracker, do you think it's enough
to get us there?

'cause what if I'm a mermaid
in these jeans of his with her name still on them?
hey, but I don't care, 'cause sometimes
I said sometimes I hear my voice
and it's been here
silent all these

years go by, will I still be waiting for somebody else to understand?
years go by, if I'm stripped of my beauty and the orange clouds raining in my head
years go by, will I choke on my tears 'til finally, there is nothing left?
one more casuality, you know, we're too easy, easy, easy

well, I love the way we communicate
your eyes focus on my funny lip shade
let's hear what you think of me now, but baby, don't look up
the sky is falling

your mother shows up in a nasty dress
and it's your turn now to stand where I stand
everybody looking at you - here, take hold of my hand
yeah, I can feel it

but what if I'm a mermaid
in these jeans of yours with her name still on them?
hey, but I don't care, 'cause sometimes
I said sometimes I hear my voice
and it's been here
silent all these years
I've been here
silent all these years

Mermaid

Denne sangen er så utrolig søt. Den får meg til å tenke på våte, brosten-belagte gågater.

~

I am a mermaid, but I have sold my voice
for a couple of feet
and they always bleed
when I go walking in the road

I am a mermaid, but I have sold my voice
for a couple of feet
and they always bleed
no matter how I plead

now, I once saw the most beautiful man
at the local record store
he bumped into me and said, "well, excuse me, young ma'am,
but haven't I seen those pretty eyes somewhere before?"
I smiled and gestured at my throat
to show that I was mute
he quickly looked down at the floor and
shuffled in his boots
oh, he was outta there so fast

I am a mermaid
but I have sold my voice
for a midnight train
and a bump of cocaine
and an old photo of ballett russes

I am a mermaid
but I have sold my voice
for a bottle of gin
'cause I can't swim
and I sure don't wanna float

well, I was so lonely, walking out of that store
and back into the busy-people-street
when overhead, I heard an argument
a woman opened up her window, threw a flower pot from it
I was startled by the crash
but I ran over to find a little plant
I quickly emptied out my coffee paper cup and
adopted it
transplanted it
took it home and
named it "Mozart"

I am a mermaid
but I have sold my voice
and I got rid of my tail
at a junkyard sale
along with some favorite childhood toys

I am a mermaid
but I have sold my voice
for a couple of feet
and they always bleed
no matter how I plead
for a couple of feet
and they always bleed
no matter how I plead
for a couple of feet
and they always bleed
when I go walking in the streets

Nemi

Hun låser seg inne i seg selv uten at du merker at hun er borte --

og hun spiller den samme sangen av Tori Amos så mange ganger etter hverandre at hun til slutt ikke hører den lenger, som når man bruker den samme parfymen over så lang tid at man faktisk på en måte blir immun mot den og ikke lan lukte den mer.

Og hun tenker at kanskje er det sånn med alle ting --
at alt man holder nær seg uunngåelig må miste smak og lukt, til og med bli usynlig, før eller siden. Og hun prøver, men kan nesten ikke huske da hun selv var ny og full av farge...

Hun ville bedt deg minne henne på det, hadde hun bare kunne finne deg.

Hun tenker at hun må reise, langt vekk, til dit hun er. Og hun skal til å gå da du plutselig sier noe helt forventet.

Og stemmen er den samme som fortalte henne historier i fjor, da hun lå på sykehus og ikke fikk sove. Genseren du har på deg er det hun som har kjøpt, for å irritere moren din. Og hun legger merke til smilerynkene dine -- og husker at du ikke hadde noen da dere først møttes for fire år siden, og hun skjønner at hun egentlig aldri har sett noen --

før akkurat nå.

- Lise Myhre

Where is my mind?

~

with your feet in the air and your head on the ground
try this trick and spin it, yeah
your head will collapse
if there's nothing in it
and you'll ask yourself

where is my mind?
where is my mind?
where is my mind?
way out in the water, see it swimming

I was swimming in the Caribbean
animals were hiding behind the rocks
except for the little fish
but they told me, he swears
try to talk to me, coy, koi

where is my mind?
where is my mind?
where is my mind?
way out in the water, see it swimming

with your feet in the air and your head on the ground
try this trick and spin it, yeah
your head will collapse
if there's nothing in it
and you'll ask yourself

where is my mind?
where is my mind?
where is my mind?

with your feet in the air and your head on the ground
try this trick and spin it, yeah

Millennium Actress

I so adore this melody. No words necessary. Just bliss.

Oh, and if you haven't seen this movie, then get the hell of your computer and go do something about it.

Gold Dust

(the only good version I could find on youtube was an instrumental one. But what the heck, the melody is the most beautiful thing ever.)

I wish I could share everything I see and feel and breathe when I listen to this, but I can't. I'm perfectly able to put it into words, but my words won't do my feelings and memories justice. So I can't, and I won't. Besides. I don't need to tell myself why this song means everything. I will always know. I will always, always remember.

sights and sounds pull me back down, another year
I was here, I was here
whipping past the reflecting pool, me and you
skipping school

oh, and we make it up as we go along
we make it up as we go along

you said you raced from langley, pulling me underneath
a cherry blossom canopy
do I have? of course I have, beneat my raincoat
I have your photograph

and the sun on your face
I'm freezing that frame

and somewhere, Alfie cries
and says, "enjoy his every smile,
you can see in the dark
through the eyes of Laura Mars,"

"how did it go so fast?"
you'll say, as we are looking back
and then we'll understand
we held gold dust
in our hands

sights and sounds pull me back down
another year
I was here, I was here
gas lights glow in the streets
twilight held us in her palm
as we walked along

oh, and we make it up as we go along
we make it up as we go along

letting names hang in the air
what colour hair?
autumn knowingly stared

and the day that she came
I'm freezing that frame
I'm freezing that frame

and somewhere, Alfie smiles
and says, "enjoy her every cry,
you can see in the dark
through the eyes of Laura Mars,"

"how did it go so fast?"
you'll say, as we are looking back
and then we'll understand
we held gold dust
in our hands
in our hands

Quotes #1

Today, Chrono Cross. This story is such a big part of me. Of how I percieve everything around me. But mostly, it's a part of my dreams. My dreams throughout my entire life. Though it's the essence of Chrono Cross that I love, and the entirety of it, the story is full of sentences and words worth quoting. But... It's not really easy to dig up quotes from this game, seeing as it's, well, a game(and you can't skim through a game)... However, I know a few by heart. So, here goes.

~

What was the start of all this?
When did the cogs of fate begin to turn?
Perhaps it's impossible to grasp that answer now,
from deep within the flow of time...

But, for a certainty, back then,
we loved so many, yet hated so much,
we hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

Yet even then, we ran like the wind
whilst our laughter echoed,
under cerulean skies...

~

R.I.P.
Our beloved Serge
Died age 7
Nobody can take
anything away from him,
nor can anyone
give anything to him.
What came from the sea,
has returned to the sea.

~

The sea never changes, does it...? It's been rolling in and out, like this, since before we were born. It's been here for eternity, it seems... It's probably seen many things... Heard many things... It'll probably keep rolling in and out, long after our lifetime... Without a singel change... Hey, Serge... Remember we used to sit and talk like this when we were kids? With the gentle sea breeze and the tranquil sound of the waves? Just the two of us... Talking... But aren't memories strange? Just when you think that you've forgotten about something, it comes floating back into your heart. I guess it's just lying there in wait. Waiting for that right moment... Why, we might even remember this very moment someday! In 10, 20 years... when we're all grown up and married, and have kids of our own... Then one day... When that time comes, I wonder what kind of adults we'll be? What kind of life will I be leading...?"

~

Thus the curtain closes on another tale.

An eternity has passed...
Fleeting dreams fade into the distance...
All that is left now
is me and my memories...

But I'm sure we'll meet again,
someday, you and I...
Another place, another time.

It's just that we might not realize
that you are you and I am me...

Let us open the door to the great unknown,
come across another reality,
and live another day...

Even when the story has been told,
life goes on...

Until we meet again,
take care of yourself, my friend.

I'll find you...
Even if I have to search the world over...
Sometime, somwhere...

I'm sure...

Nine million bicycles

This is the song I was listening to the first time I realized that I love you. That was almost three years ago. It hurts a lot, now that I'm listening to it again. I miss that summer. And I miss who I used to be. I used to feel so much more like me. Well. I'm gonna finish my yoghurt in the name of great summers to come. And I'm gonna begin to hope. I'll try, anyway.

~

there are nine million bicycles in Bejing
that's a fact, it's a thing we can't deny
like the fact that I will love you 'til I die

we are twelve billion light years from the edge
that's a guess, no one can ever say it's true
but I know that I will always be with you

I'm warmed by the fire of your love every day
so don't call me a lier
just believe everything that I say

there are six billion people in the world
more or less, and it makes me feel quite small
but you're the one I love the most of all

we're high on a wire with the world in our sight
and I'll never tire
of the love that you give me every night

there are nine million bicycles in Bejing
that's a fact, it's a thing we can't deny
like the fact that I will love you 'til I die

Ai wa hana, kimi wa sono tane

Every time I watch this, I start crying.

As far as I know, the lyrics posted here are the english ones, and not a translation of the japanese lyrics. But these lyrics are perfect to me, and they fit the melody and I just love them.

~

some say, love, it is a river
that drowns the tender reed
some say, love it is a razor
that leaves your soul to bleed
some say, love, it is a hunger
an endless, aching need
I say, love, it is a flower
and you its only seed

it's the heart, afraid of breaking
that never learns to dance
it's the dream, afraid of waking
that never takes a chance
it's the one who won't be taken
who cannot seem to give
and the soul, afraid of dying
that never learns to live

when the night has been too lonely
and the road has been too long
and you think that love is only
for the lucky and the strong
just remember, in the winter
far beneath the bitter snows
lies the seed, that with the sun's love
in the spring becomes the rose

Bouncing off clouds

I love, love, LOVE the piano in this. Wherever I am, on the bus or at work or in bed, I can't help but twist and drum my fingers around to match it.

~

bouncing off of clouds, we were
is their a love lost and found?

make it easy, make this easy
it's not as heavy as it seems
wrapped in metal, wrapped in ivy
painted in mint ice cream

we could be bouncing off the top of this cloud
(I'll put on my silver)
bouncing off the top of this cloud

failure to respond, but
I did, but did you listen?

bouncing off the top of this cloud
(I'll put on my silver)
about what you said, has it come to this?
(I'll put on my silver)
bouncing off the top off this cloud

well, you can stare all day at the sky
but that won't bring her back
that won't bring her back
you say you're waiting on fate
but I think fate is now
I think fate is now
waiting on us

make it easy, easy, easy
we could make this easy
easy, love, easy

we could make this easy, make this easy
it's not as heavy as it seems
make this easy, make this easy
it's not as heavy as it seems
wrapped in metal, wrapped in ivy
blue umbrellas smiling

we could be bouncing off the top of this cloud
(I'll put on my silver)
about what you said, has it come to this?
(I'll put on my silver)
bouncing off the top off this cloud

bouncing off of clouds, we were