Rusty Lance

Hurt

~

I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real

the needle tears a hole
the old, familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything

what have I become
my sweetest friend?
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
upon my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I can not repair

beneath the stains of time
the feelings disappear
you are someone else
I am still right here

what have I become
my sweetest friend?
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

if I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

A rainy night in Soho

Come back to me.

~

I've been loving you a long time
down all the years, down all the days
and I've cried for all your troubles
smiled at your funny, little ways

we watched our friends grow up together
and we saw them as they fell
some of them fell into heaven
some of them fell into hell

I took shelter from a shower
and I stepped into your arms
on a rainy night in Soho
the wind was whistling all its charms

I sang you all my sorrows
you told me all your joys
whatever happened to that old song
to all those little girls and boys?

sometimes I wake up in the morning
the gingerlady by my bed
covered in a cloak of silence
I hear you talking in my head

I'm not singing for the future
I'm not dreaming of the past
I'm not talking of the first times
I never think about the last

now, the song is nearly over
we may never find out what it means
still, there's a light I hold before me
you are the measure of my dreams
the measure of my dreams

Quiet as a mouse

~

tourists rob you of your home
in sunken boats
and you can hide quiet as a mouse
but they'll find you out
and she asked me, "what have you felt?"
so down and out
you can stay with me at my house

when I awoke, my back was broke from lying on the floor
sunlight poured through all the cracks in my front door
wake up, you've got a lot of things to do
wake up, the sun is rising without you

tourists robbed me of my child
they smoked him out
he was draft dodging some war
'til they found him out
and he came wandering in the night
to his mom and me
and he said, "time's, they've gotta change
but so do we,"

when I awoke, I was alive in somebody's room
I felt life and love and hope infest in my bones
wake up, you've got a lot of things to do
wake up, the sun is rising without you

when I awoke, my body was dying all over the floor
I felt apathy and hate infest in my bones
wake up, you've got a lot of things to do
wake up, the sun is rising without you

Another sunny day

Beautiful song. And I've never read or heard lyrics like these before. The words kind of belong together. I wish I'd discovered it in the summer, though, it's such a summer-song. It does fit the november rain as well, though (I'm NOT referring to guns 'n roses here, sorry, people), and the nostalgia and the remembering.

~

another sunny day, I met you up in the garden
you were digging glands, I dug you, beg your pardon
I took a photograph of you in the herbaceous border
it broke the heart of men and flowers and girls and trees

another rainy day, we're trapped inside with a train set
chocolate on the boil, steamy windows when we met
you've got the attic window looking out on the cathedral
and on a sunday evening, bells ring out in the dusk

another day in June, we'll pick eleven for football
we're playing for our lives, the referee gives us fuck all
I saw you in the corner of my eye on the sidelines
your dark mascara bids me to historical deeds

now everybody's gone, you pick me up for a long drive
we take the tourist route, the nights are light until midnight
we took the evening ferry over to the peninsula
we found the avenue of trees, went up to the hill
that crazy avenue of trees, I'm living there still

there's something in my eye, a little midge, so beguiling
sacrificed his life to bring us both eye to eye
I heard the eskimos remove obstructions with tongues, dear
you missed my eye, I wonder why, I didn't complain
you missed my eye, I wonder why, please do it again

the loving is a mess, what happened to all of the feeling?
I thought it was for real; babies, rings and fools kneeling
and words of pledging trust and lifetimes stretching forever
so what went wrong? it was a lie, it crumbled apart
ghost figures of past, present, future, haunting the heart