Merry happy

Catchy. Kate Nash is so british it's nearly just silly. But it's not. It's pretty awesome, actually. And I love this song, the rythm and hastyness of it. The cheekyness. Lots of "ness"'es here. Can't help it. But it's a fitting song, fitting because I've been completely solemn today, on my own, and I managed it just fine. Didn't watch the sunset, though. Just watched the clouds.

~

watching me like you never watched no one
don't tell me that you didn't try and check out my bum
cause I know that you did
cause your friend told me that you liked it
gave me those pearls and I thought they were ugly
don't you try and tell me that you never loved me
I know that you did
cause you said it and you wrote it down

dancing at discos, eating cheese on toast
yeah, you make me merry, make me very, very happy
but you obviously, you didn't wanna stick around
dancing at discos, eating cheese on toast
yeah, you make me merry, make me very, very happy
but you obviously, you didn't wanna stick around
so I learnt from you

I can be alone, yeah, I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone, yeah, I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone, I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone, yeah, I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone, yeah, I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone, I can watch a sunset on my own

sitting in restaurants, thought we were so grown up
but I know now that we were not the people
that we turned out to be
talking on the phone, can't take back those hours
but I won't regret, cause you can grow flowers
from where dirt used to be

dancing at discos, eating cheese on toast
yeah, you make me merry, make me very, very happy
but you obviously, you didn't wanna stick around
dancing at discos, eating cheese on toast
yeah, you make me merry, make me very, very happy
but you obviously, you didn't wanna stick around
so I learnt from you

I can be alone, yeah, I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone, yeah, I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone, I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone, yeah, I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone, yeah, I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone, I can watch a sunset on my own

Pictures of you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8l54xuQmwks

What used to be and what is now. Something I could explain if I tried, but I will not.

~

I've been looking so long at these pictures of you
that I almost believe that they're real
I've been living so long with my pictures of you
that I almost believe that the pictures are all I can feel

remembering you, standing quiet in the rain
as I ran to your heart to be near
and we kissed as the sky fell in, holding you close
how I always held close in your fear

remembering you, running soft through the night
you were bigger and brighter and whiter than snow
you screamed at the make-believe, screamed at the sky
and you finally found all your courage to let it all go

remembering you, falling into my arms
crying for the death of your heart
you were stone white, so delicate, lost in the cold
you were always so lost in the dark

remembering you, how you used to be
slow drowned, you were angels, so much more than everything
hold for the last time, then slip away quietly
open my eyes, but I never see anything

if only I'd thought of the right words
I could've held on to your heart
if only I'd thought of the right words
I wouldn't be breaking apart, all my pictures of you

looking so long at these pictures of you
and never hold on to your heart
looking so long for the words to be true
and always just breaking apart, my pictures of you

there was nothing in the world that I ever wanted more
than to feel you deep in my heart
there was nothing in the world that I ever wanted more
than to never be breaking apart, my pictures of you

In memoriam

An excerpt from a poem by Alfred Tennyson. The full version is hundred and thirty-one verses long, but I heard some of it while watching Hellboy II and I fell for that little bit. So I found it online and here it is.

I'm tired.

~

Be near me when my light is low,
When the blood creeps, and the nerves prick
And tingle; and the heart is sick,
And all the wheels of Being slow.

Be near me when the sensuous frame
Is rack'd with pangs that conquer trust;
And Time, a maniac scattering dust,
And Life, a Fury slinging flame.

Be near me when my faith is dry,
And men the flies of latter spring,
That lay their eggs, and sting and sing
And weave their petty cells and die.

Be near me when I fade away,
To point the term of human strife,
And on the low dark verge of life
The twilight of eternal day.

Talking in code

Me, me, me, me, me, me, me. So me it's scary. And autumn - the grayness and blackness, all the soft blue colours of summer nights long gone, lights shining, criss-crossing everywhere, trees rustling and the smells, rain and decay and home - going there, or just leaving.

-

I've got to go

and you're talking in code

saying, "I know where you've been

and I know where you go,"

but I've been tired from the minute I woke

I stopped listening from the moment you spoke

and said, "I'm long gone...

yeah, I'm long gone..."

and I'm sleeping alone

in a house I don't own

'cause if you're touring your mind

you'll get lost every time

you'll sing me sad songs to keep me awake

in that bedroom where we hid away

baby, I'm long gone

yeah, I'm long gone

and your voice cracks like a piano

you keep moving, but where are you going?

baby, we're long gone

yeah, we're long gone

The Ship Song

Pretty. And sorrowful. And blue.

~

come sail your ships around me
and burn your bridges down
we make a little history, baby
every time you come around

come lose your dogs upon me
and let your hair hang down
you are a little mystery to me
every time you come around

we talk about it all night long
we define our moral ground
but when I crawl into your arms
everything comes tumbling down

come sail your ships around me
and burn your bridges down
we make a little history, baby
every time you come around

your face has fallen sad now
for you know the time is nigh
when I must remove your wings
and you, you must try to fly

come sail your ships around me
and burn your bridges down
we make a little history, baby
every time you come around

come lose your dogs upon me
and let your hair hang down
you are a little mystery to me
every time you come around

Streets of Philadelphia

~

I was bruised and battered, I couldn't
tell what I felt, I was
unrecognizable to myself
saw my reflection in a window, didn't
know my own face, oh brother
are you gonna leave me wasting away
on the streets of Philadelphia?

I walked the avenue til my
legs felt like stone, I heard
the voices of friends, vanished and gone
at night, I could hear the blood in my veins
just as black and whispering as the rain
on the streets of Philadelphia

ain't no angel gonna greet me
it's just you and I, my friend
and my clothes don't fit me no more
I walked a thousand miles
just to slip this skin

the night has fallen, I'm
lying awake, I can
feel myself fading away
so recieve me, brother, with your
faithless kiss, or will we
leave each other alone like this
on the streets of Philadelphia?